Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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