If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
