Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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