also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
