you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
