No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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