I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
