So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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