I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize