google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
