I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
