Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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