Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
