I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sponge bath it is.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
