Pappa wants mamma naked
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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