I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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