I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
