How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
