i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i dont even know how to be here
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
