Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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