HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
