Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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