i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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