We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
