On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
