did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
