wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
