She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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