tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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