Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
