Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
