he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize