It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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