yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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