SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
