I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
