just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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