THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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