Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she looked like the before picture.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
