are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
