How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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