I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
