How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
