bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
