Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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