yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
