oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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