im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
