was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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