need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
