Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize