Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
