Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
