i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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