get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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