I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
