I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
