i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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