This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
