im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't turn off my feet"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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