You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize