Please, let me fuck your mom
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
