I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
