the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
